The fantasies that hinder women from finding their Mr. Right.

No, this isn’t a diatribe about the ratio of men to women and how some women could inevitably be without an eligible guy because of the numbers game. We all know the statistics and how there is supposedly one man for every seven (or ten) women on the planet. Yet women get married every day of the week. Why not you?


This is about how women take themselves out of the game without even knowing it. You are attractive and funny – so why is SHE getting married and not you? What does she have (or know) that you don’t?

Fantasy Relationships
The first reason is that you could be in a fantasy relationship. I used this example in my book, How Divas Date. Divas don’t do fantasy relationships! If the man is not pursuing you, he doesn’t want you!

Here is what a fantasy relationship is – you have a crush on, are dating, or in a relationship with a man that is not going to marry you! Now if you are dating or in a relationship with a man that is not going to marry you and you know it, GET OUT! We’ll talk about that at the later date, but let’s talk about the crushes.

Fantasy Man
Another reason – you are looking for a fantasy man! You want him to look like Shemar Moore (yes that is my favorite celebrity to mention), have a Ph.D., make a zillion dollars, have perfect teeth, like the same reality shows you like, send you roses every weekend, and be as spiritual as TD Jakes! Come on!

And even if he has perfect teeth, sends you roses every weekend, is as spiritual as TD Jakes, but also LOOKS LIKE TD Jakes, you don’t want him. You don’t think he is handsome enough.

Fantasy about yourself
You have a long list of characteristics you want your man to have, but you don’t have half of them yourself! Are you as spiritual as Serita Jakes, TD’s wife? So why should he want you? You want Oliver Martinez, but do you look like Halle Berry?

You’re the Fantasy
OK. So you really are a 10, every guy’s fantasy. You do have the list of qualities that you are looking for in a match (you’re all that and a bag of chips – a Halle Berry with Serita Jakes’ spirituality, Martha Stewart in the home and Cathy Hughes in the boardroom) and you deserve the cream of the crop. No man can touch you because you are better, smarter, more spiritual and two steps ahead of every man. You’re unobtainable. You’ve tried internet dating, speed dating, matchmaking services, but no one meets your standard. EVER. And you are still alone.

Whether you have one or more of the above issues going on, there is hope! You can change at any time. If you now realize you’ve been in a fantasy relationship, you can get out. If you realize you have some work to do on yourself, do it! You were looking for a fantasy, but now you realize he may not be perfect (neither are you!).

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